And so , one of the things that happened last year ....
I started back chatting at this online chatplace & became a regular chatter there ..

One of the days . 011112 .
Chat with this guy .
Exchanged numbers.

During that time i promised myself that i will not trust a mens word and would not fall for any man .

And i broke the promise myself . Stupid me . On the very day that i knew him . He asked me to be mine . At first i just accept him for just the sake of accepting . Few days knowing him . I totally fall for him .
I gave my love to him . He make me feel love , he gave me the attention that i need and can be considered he gave me what i wanted all the while . The love and the attention that i longed from someone .
One mistake that i did . We never met .

Caught him cheating on our first month . With my own close friend whom i treat as a sister . She told me everything . We supposed to end it there but i hold on the relationship because i loved him deeply , thinking that he would changed and also thinking that we would meet sooner .

But i was wrong .

Theres a day that i actually waited for him to comeby at a place . I waited for nearly an hour . He didnt turn up .
Reason being that he fainted . His sick . :')

On second month , its over .
I couldnt accept the fact tht we're over .

Suddenly one of the day i saw his picture message at my childhood friend instagram .
Learned something more about him .
He's actually attached .
Attached way before he knew me .

Feeling guilty i decided to let him go .
Thinking what would his girlfriend feel if she knows about this .
I broke into pieces . BECAUSE THIS IS MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP.
I ruin my first relationship .

Weeks after he broke up with his girlfriend .
I approach his ex .
And knew something more about him
He also have yet to meet his ex though they been months .
And another thing , im not the only victim to be fooled by his sweet talks.
There a quite alot of girls were in the same position as me .

Was depressed for a few months . Sad , crying ...
Till now idk why but somewhere in my heart i still do care n love him thinking he would change :'(

Why when i finally thought i found my happiness it didnt last long ?
Why cant i feel the love from the people that i really loved the most ?
When can i feel the love ?
I really felt leftout with my friends . Thy all have their boyfriends to be with and i ?
Rejection is always i get .
They say im fat , ugly ...
So , fat & ugly  i dont deserve to be love eh ?

Hais . Bye .

Labels: fuckmylife