fcktard's

i am tired of everything . i am just tired of my life .
i hate living in my house .
a family supposed to be lived happily . always togrther and feel the family bondness love each other .
not for my family .
my family sucks . no family bonding . never always together .
i have 4 brothers and 1 sister but i feel that i am the only child.
my first brother married and not always come back .
my second brother married and hardly come back .
my sister ; working and never come back and this 1 august she will be married .
my third brother . i dont know what to say bout him .
my fourth brother . ns and always scolding me .
left me and me mum and my dad .
my dad work taxi driver . and hardly at home . he work shift .
and if he at home most time he spend sleeping .
my mom . we always quarrel . she is sick .
had bypass last 2 years and still not recover yet .
and whenver her pain come . she blame me for her pain .
whenever she sees me its like she sees a jembalang or what .
mesti ade that she want to scold and call me names .
she even say . i not at home much better . her pain loss and her mind is clear .
she trying to say that i am the burden in the house .
i never get to feel what it is like to be loved and cared by someone at least .
people around me simply hates me .
even my BF . its like all this while i tought they treat me as thier friend and and care bout me . but i dont think soo .
i mean nothing .
i am just a burden to people . :'(
i just want to end my life .
i hate my life .
and there are people just making it worst .